TEMPELMAN

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Penetrated and misunderstood.

There is a medical examination that we men need to do after a certain age. Something we joke amongst ourselves about with horrified delight. Anyway, my wife pushed me to make an appointment in the end. I didn't sleep well the night before and worried about the examination and the results.

When I get home after the appointment, I feel relieved and therefore also a bit happy. My wife is waiting anxiously when I (with a slightly shuffling gait) enter the kitchen and sit down.

-How did it go?

-Well, it was disgusting of course.

-Then you might understand how it is for us women to go for a mammogram or to the gynaecologist.

-It's not the same thing, is it?

-Why is that?

-Well, you do it all the time so you get used to it somehow.

-No, we don't.

-Alright, but this was all the same very hard for me. Even though she said everything was fine.

-She?

-Yes, it was a female doctor.

-Really? My wife looks at me long and searchingly.

-Well, that explains a lot.

-What do you mean by that?

-Nothing. But it was a bit convenient that it was a woman, don't you think?

-Well, the hospital chose who would examine me, not me.

-But you did get a name of the doctor before you went?

-Yes, of course.

-And it was obviously not Dr Lennart?

-No, and it didn't matter. I might even have preferred a woman to examine me.

-Yes, I can imagine that. That's why you didn't say anything to me before?

-Are you jealous...?

-Because a woman sticks a finger up your arse? I don't think so.

-Then there was the ultrasound too. A long fucking rod ....

-There you go. Like a dessert.

-Oh give me a break! Maybe I should have ignored the examination and suffered an unstoppable cancer later?

She just shakes her head in response.

-It was you who pushed me to go! I say.

-But I didn't expect you to come home looking like you got a refund on your taxes.

-Maybe I'm relieved that it's over? Isn't that a pretty normal reaction?

She thinks for a moment before she laughs and looks at me a little tenderly.

-Yes, sorry. You're right, you're right. Maybe I'm just a bit nervous about my own visit to the gynaecologist next week. Although Magnus is very good and easy on the hand.

-Magnus?