A Censored Party.

My wife and I receive a lengthy invitation to a grand party on an archipelago island. The reason for the party is briefly mentioned at the beginning of the invitation, which then shifts to more practical matters. We are asked to inform them if we are vegetarians and to list any allergies and intolerances we have. I want to reply with birch pollen and heroin, but my wife stops me.

They then mention that dogs are welcome, provided they are hypoallergenic, house-trained, and don't bite everything that moves. (That line ends with a smiley.) It continues like this:

We also think it would be great if we didn't talk about Trump, Putin, and all the other woes of the world this evening. Ailments and surgeries would be nice to avoid too, especially since Bettan recently had both hips replaced and John had one lung removed. We'll never get them to stop if they start talking about it.

Since Jimmy has gained about 30 kilos in a short time, we can skip discussions about diet and exercise. And absolutely not Ozempic, considering how slim Lena has suddenly become without changing her lifestyle one bit.

Some of us have children who have chosen to work in the cultural sector or are completely unsuccessful (perhaps the same thing?), so it would be desirable for the rest of us to refrain from boasting about our own children's enormous wealth and success. We also think substance abuse is a topic we should avoid. Most of us drink far too much and should join AA, but that conversation can easily become a bit of a downer during the evening. (Red, white, and dessert wine will be served during dinner, by the way.)

It would also be nice to avoid hearing about AI. No one wants to hear old men guessing which professions will become completely redundant in the future, especially not Jeanette, who works in translations, and Janne, who is an illustrator. The pros and cons of energy sources are certainly fascinating, but since Anna and Jarl have a place in Jämtland where a new wind farm has just been built, it's a no-go zone for the evening. Jarl tends to froth at the mouth when it's brought up. And yes, there are defibrillators on the island. Perhaps we can also avoid hearing about elderly parents. Many have recently lost parents, and it can create envy among those who wish their parents were gone.

There will be an open bar and dancing after dinner. Now let's party like it's 1999!

I look questioningly at my wife.

– So what’s left to talk about?